At a very young age, I began living with my precious grandmother. She was a hard worker, an over achiever, a perfectionist, a planner, a worrier, and sometimes she would forget to use her “verbal filter”. However, she loved people deeper than anyone I have ever known. I grew up watching her tirelessly cooking, cleaning, working to please and take care of everyone. I watched her wring her hands over many situations, staying up all night worrying. She knew she wasn’t supposed to worry, but she just couldn’t help it.
She was raised in a Christian home and loved God. She and I had many conversations about God when I was growing up, but her walk with God grew tremendously in my preteen years when she was diagnosed with brain cancer. She shared with me that she recommitted her life to Christ during this time. I had the honor and privilege of seeing her baptized. God opened her eyes and heart to many habits she needed to change. She changed in many ways. Many of her thoughts and ideals changed. The Lord took away many of her habits and appetites. She was so willing to allow Him to mold her and shape her into the person He wanted her to be for His glory. Don’t misunderstand me–she wasn’t perfect. One habit she struggled with daily was the effects of stress and worry. This was just one area she was constantly battling, especially when it came to her family. She wanted to see all of her family members saved and living for the Lord. This is one reason, I believe that God miraculously healed her. She surpassed all of the expectations of her earthly physicians, because God “The Divine Physician” had plans for her.
She stayed up late nights praying for her loved ones. She spent hours in God’s Word. She would read it with me, and she taught me how to study the Bible for every issue of life. During our studies she would tell me there were things in God’s Word that she didn’t always like because they were difficult to do, but she trusted God and knew they were for the best. We must always strive to obey God’s commands whether they come easy to us or not. She told me you have to apply the Bible to your life in its entirety. You can’t skip or ignore the parts you may not like or commands that don’t come naturally to you. You can’t believe in pieces and parts of it, but you must believe in the whole Bible. She taught that before I even crack it open, I should ask the Lord to open the eyes and ears of my understanding and to reveal His truth and wisdom to me.
God’s Word was a priceless treasure to Grandmama. It was her standard for living. She depended on it. It was her life. God’s Word and prayer were her lifelines of communication with the Heavenly Father, and she relied on them throughout each day.
She wanted me to to have the peace she had found. I still have a treasured gift she gave me just before my 14th birthday. Back then my favorite color was teal, so she found a teal, leather bound, student Bible. She had my name engraved on the outside. The page edges were colored in a matching gold as well. My Bible is now 24 years old. The outside leather is cracked. It has a stain on the front cover where I carelessly spilled nail polish remover on it as a teen.
Thankfully, Grandmama taught me to actually read my Bible and not leave it sitting on display. The pages are worn and the sparkling gold is now dull and faded from use. Inside are notes and highlighted passages from my Bible studies. No matter how worn or aged it appears, it is still one of my most prized possessions.
Inside I have a precious note in Grandmama’s beautiful handwriting:
Following God’s Word isn’t always easy. Sometimes we don’t want to know God’s truth. Sometimes we simply want to believe in what we think is right or traditions we have been taught, but this isn’t truth and believing in something that is contrary to God’s word is believing satan’s lies, and this is simply not an option. The path following God isn’t aways filled with mountain-high, uplifting, “feel good” moments. There are hard lessons to learn, changes to be made, and lots of molding and shaping He does to us along the way. Grandmama taught me from God’s word that you can’t get to Heaven just by following an arbitrary standard of being “a good person”, that we must accept Jesus as our personal Savior and allow Him to be the Lord of our lives, walking daily with Him. We must allow Him to change our bad habits and be willing to give up all of our sinful natures. We must think on a spiritual level instead of a temporal, worldly one. When we truly accept Him, He will never forsake us in this and it becomes easier and easier.
Sadly, I have to say I haven’t always followed the legacy Grandmama left for me. I’ve walked away from God more times than I’d like to admit. However, I’m so thankful God shows me forgiveness, grace and mercy each and every day. Grandmama was right–when truly surrendered to the Lord, He enables me to do things I would never be able to do in my own strength. He enables me to live a life of gratitude for all He has done and has softened my heart so much that I don’t want to ever disappoint Him. When I do, my heart breaks. I just can’t make it in this world without Him.
Jesus suffered mercilessly and gave His life for us. We are SO unworthy. If you do not know Jesus as your personal Savior, please give your life to Him today. It is by faith in Jesus we are saved. His grace saves us and we can’t be saved by anything that we do, but we do have to make a decision and a commitment daily to walk with Him. When we have faith in Him we walk with Him each day, surrender our own will and decisions to Him, allow Him to change us into the people He wants us to be. We have a daily, intimate relationship with Him. He becomes our entire world and reason for being. Romans 10:13 says, “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.” The word “call” in the Greek means “to rely upon, to trust.”